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I never felt like that before. Not about a man, not about anybody. Why can’t I stop thinking about Alan: his reassuring voice, his salt-and-pepper stubble, and how I feel when his hands have the run of my body?
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“Alan, I don’t even know what to do.” I pressed up against him. I felt like a cat begging to be petted.
“Don’t know what to do about what?” His smile showed off his white teeth. His lips looked masculine under the stubble but still smooth. Inviting. His hand squeezed at my shoulder, just as he’d done during the massage. I felt like melting wax under his touch.
“I’ve just never—” I closed my eyes shut. I wanted this more than I’d ever wanted anything.
I leaned in toward him, my eyes still closed. I took a deep breath, inhaling the salt air and his sweat, and pressed my lips to his.
A man’s lips. They were soft. So inviting.
I couldn’t believe it was happening.
Alan pressed his mouth to mine. I opened my eyes again. It was real. He was staring into my eyes.
I maneuvered my lips to fully press to his. Our noses bumped. I’d never kissed a man. I’d never kissed anyone but Cecilia, and it had never been like this.
Alan’s face radiated heat. He sucked on my upper lip. His tongue slipped into my mouth and pressed up against my teeth. His stubble rubbed up against my lips, my chin, and my cheeks.
He gasped and looked at me. Maybe he also didn’t believe it was real.
Inside my mouth, our tongues touched. His hands slipped under my shirt. My body already knew his hands from the massage — but this felt so different, and so much better.
With my mouth and my hands I wanted to scoop up all of him for myself. I kissed all over his face, his stubble, his nose, even his forehead. I ran my hands up to his ripped, rippled shoulders and grabbed at them, just as I’d fantasized.
I wanted all of him. I was frantic, almost delirious. I’d never known that I needed this. At thirty, I’d awakened.
Ravenous, I bit at his chin. He laughed. Through quick, hot breaths, I apologized.
When I grabbed at his butt through his jeans, he only gyrated it back against me, then pressed his crotch up against mine. His erection was too obvious, like a baseball bat in his pocket. After a lifetime of pretending guys’ bodies were gross, it was unbelievable: I’d never felt anything so right.
He kissed my neck. I hugged him tighter to tell him to kiss me harder. He kissed the underside of my chin, the top of my chest, up and down my neck. He laughed and kissed my chin just as I’d kissed his.
I dared to pat his crotch. Through his jeans, the outline of his dick was familiar. It was like a zoomed-in, enlarged version of my own dick. I dared to pat at the mushroom head through his jeans, then run my hand along the warm, hard shaft. Even through his pants, my fingers traced the veins of his dick. Everything felt the same as my own dick, but bigger.
His palms at my sides, he lifted my shirt up and slid it up and over my head. I’d never felt so naked in my own condo. I’d never had eyes on me like Alan’s: he stared my torso up and down. He kissed my pecs, my chest hair, my abs, all the way down to my stomach. When he pressed his hand at my dick in my pants, I moaned and grinded it against him.
My pants were unzipped, then at my thighs, then at my knees, then completely off of me. My underwear was off of me.
Alan stared down at my erection. He cupped his hand and held my dick in it. “I couldn’t stop thinking about this.”
“Don’t know what to do about what?” His smile showed off his white teeth. His lips looked masculine under the stubble but still smooth. Inviting. His hand squeezed at my shoulder, just as he’d done during the massage. I felt like melting wax under his touch.
“I’ve just never—” I closed my eyes shut. I wanted this more than I’d ever wanted anything.
I leaned in toward him, my eyes still closed. I took a deep breath, inhaling the salt air and his sweat, and pressed my lips to his.
A man’s lips. They were soft. So inviting.
I couldn’t believe it was happening.
Alan pressed his mouth to mine. I opened my eyes again. It was real. He was staring into my eyes.
I maneuvered my lips to fully press to his. Our noses bumped. I’d never kissed a man. I’d never kissed anyone but Cecilia, and it had never been like this.
Alan’s face radiated heat. He sucked on my upper lip. His tongue slipped into my mouth and pressed up against my teeth. His stubble rubbed up against my lips, my chin, and my cheeks.
He gasped and looked at me. Maybe he also didn’t believe it was real.
Inside my mouth, our tongues touched. His hands slipped under my shirt. My body already knew his hands from the massage — but this felt so different, and so much better.
With my mouth and my hands I wanted to scoop up all of him for myself. I kissed all over his face, his stubble, his nose, even his forehead. I ran my hands up to his ripped, rippled shoulders and grabbed at them, just as I’d fantasized.
I wanted all of him. I was frantic, almost delirious. I’d never known that I needed this. At thirty, I’d awakened.
Ravenous, I bit at his chin. He laughed. Through quick, hot breaths, I apologized.
When I grabbed at his butt through his jeans, he only gyrated it back against me, then pressed his crotch up against mine. His erection was too obvious, like a baseball bat in his pocket. After a lifetime of pretending guys’ bodies were gross, it was unbelievable: I’d never felt anything so right.
He kissed my neck. I hugged him tighter to tell him to kiss me harder. He kissed the underside of my chin, the top of my chest, up and down my neck. He laughed and kissed my chin just as I’d kissed his.
I dared to pat his crotch. Through his jeans, the outline of his dick was familiar. It was like a zoomed-in, enlarged version of my own dick. I dared to pat at the mushroom head through his jeans, then run my hand along the warm, hard shaft. Even through his pants, my fingers traced the veins of his dick. Everything felt the same as my own dick, but bigger.
His palms at my sides, he lifted my shirt up and slid it up and over my head. I’d never felt so naked in my own condo. I’d never had eyes on me like Alan’s: he stared my torso up and down. He kissed my pecs, my chest hair, my abs, all the way down to my stomach. When he pressed his hand at my dick in my pants, I moaned and grinded it against him.
My pants were unzipped, then at my thighs, then at my knees, then completely off of me. My underwear was off of me.
Alan stared down at my erection. He cupped his hand and held my dick in it. “I couldn’t stop thinking about this.”
